So, it looks like the Miitomo has calmed, after it became quickly apparent that there wasn’t all that much to do.
Sure, it sort of worked as a social network, in that people were engaging with each other’s comments and jokes, but we were probably only doing that to get in-game coins to buy more in-game hats. If the real world worked like that, we’d all be much more outgoing and own many more hats.
But what are you supposed to do with the app now? You’ve already downloaded it, so you probably should give it one more chance before you boot it into the Deleted Pit with the rest of the crap you gave up on. By now you might have noticed that the game is pretty hands-off when it comes to content control, and that the rather open-ended photo creator lets you do a lot of things you probably shouldn’t be allowed to do. With that in mind, here are five alternate ways to use Miitomo now that we’ve realised it’s a bit pants.
In just a few years, the way we will judge a person’s worth will be based on how "dank" their "memes" are. I promise. I’ve capitalised on some of the latest "memes" in these photos in a lame attempt to get some sick retweets and thus secure my place in Meme Valhalla.
Be a creep
You might not be able to get any real-life photos with your crush, but you can certainly take lots of Mii photos that imply far, far more than is actually the case. Sure, Miitomo doesn’t actively encourage you to make a creepy pole-dancing scenario, but it also doesn’t stop you. Bonus: try throwing in some celebrity Miis, and who knows, one day that might be enough for the Daily Mail to write a scandalous tell-all about you and the unlicensed cartoon version of Danny DeVito.
Declare your allegiances
I will use every social media platform to declare my love for dogs. I will post gifs on Twitter, "like" dog-related pages on Facebook, and blog endlessly about how fluffy they are on MySpace and Bebo. It’s cool if you don’t agree, but you’re wrong, and if you try to argue with me I will use social media for its true purpose, and say rude things about your mum, because that is always a totally appropriate and justified response.
Make your Twitter a little more interesting
Take those boring Instagrams of pasta down and stop #engaging with your favourite #brands – what people really want to see is a tiny cartoon version of you with a dumb face, doing stupid things. I won’t let you down, friends.
Everyone loves a penis joke. Probably even Nintendo. I assume this because Miitomo lets you make a surprising number of them, though this is almost definitely not on purpose. Here is one of mine. I’d say I’m not proud but I really am. This took work.